Some partners reveal the best qualities in us, while others seem to discover the dark side of our nature. Why is this happening? Analyzes the psychoanalyst Andrei Rossokhin.
“Igor constantly held me in suspense,” recalls 39-year-old Alla. – He always spoke to me, reproaching and condemning. When I asked what he was dissatisfied with, he was offended and replied that I was not trying to understand him at all. For almost five years we lived in an atmosphere of insults “. Then Alla met Sergey, and for two years they have been
together.
“I used to know only one type of relationship – a struggle,” she continues. – Today I understand what the word “mutual understanding” means. Sergey allows me to be myself – does not condemn, does not evaluate. And I no longer need to defend or attack “. If some relationships highlight the best in us – goodwill, tolerance, tenderness, then others seem to face an aggressive, incredulous, cruel personality. How this mechanism is triggered?
We choose a relationship ourselves
“Choosing a partner, we choose between our own spiritual aspirations,” says Andrei Rossokhin. – Each has many hidden internal conflicts associated with suppressed children’s desires and emotions, teenage passions and the need for self -affirmation.
These conflicts are like a minefield, but they are also a source of personal development. Who will we meet: with those who will become our internal destroyer or those who will help open the space for life and love? It depends on the unconscious choice.
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